What Helps You the Most When You're Having True Suicidal Thoughts?

I think it's a great idea that you write articles aimed at preventing suicide. While these articles wont reach everyone who probably needs to read them it will reach some and that could be just one more person saved because they were given one more thing to consider before they made such an irreversible decision. Personally I've never had what I would call a suicide attempt. The furthest I've ever had these kinds of thoughts go into becoming action was choosing a weapon and deciding how to use it. I didn't go through with it for a number of reasons. The biggest one probably being that I had read articles discussing things to think about before you do something like this. It seems cliche, everybody tells you that when you do something like that it hurts more than you. You aren't the one that suffers or has to live with your decision, instead it's your family and people who may care about you (I didn't have any friends then ). I read something online, in a Chicken Soup book for teenagers and had seen a documentary at my mom's school about teen suicide and they had all said something along those lines. Every time I've ever thought about killing myself it would hurt me to think about how my family would be affected. At the time I described earlier, I was going to do it in my bedroom and I couldn't help but think about how my family would have felt coming home from work and school to find me like that, how they wouldn't have been able to live there anymore, how they might blame themselves and how scared my brothers would have been. I opted instead to go outside and play baseball and I left the knife on the tv. My mom and one of my brothers came home before I went back in so I didn't have the chance to change my mind. The other thing you see on these sites is that they always say if you're afraid, having second thoughts or wishing you had someone to tell then you probably don't want to do it. I've always been scared and I think it's this fear that sparks debates in my head and directs me away from the impulsiveness that typically coincides with successful suicide attempts. I'm the kind of person that one thought leads to another so it becomes a seemingly endless cascade of thoughts which forces me to assess the pros and cons of the situation. So for me knowing that my fear suggests that I don't want to do that forces me to think more logically which decreases the chances greatly that I'm not going to just act on a whim. I think knowing that there is help out there is encouraging for many but it does little for me. I have other problems that would preclude me from seeking help on a helpline or calling a doctor. When I see a therapist or am asked questions about these kinds of thoughts I never admit having them. Personal experience would be really good on a site like that, people saying that they've been there and can share detailed stories that others can relate to. Good luck with your endeavor, it will be a blessing to many.